Lesson #2: People are going to change.

One of the saddest truths I've had to accept in life is this one: people change. We grow up and grow apart. We have different backgrounds that will lead us to see different perspectives that will ultimately challenge our fluidity with one another. Your parents will change; your siblings will change; your best friends will change. To themselves, they're just finding out more and more of who they are. To you, they're changing and that's okay because they're going to be seeing you differently, too. You're changing along with everyone else around you, even if you don't acknowledge it. 

It's easy to say that someone is being a hypocrite or that they're "different than they were", but it's also easy to justify your own actions that would make you seem hypocritical and different. I can honestly say that I am not the same cheeky kid I was at the far right of this picture. But, I'm not different than that kid, either. I'm figuring out what I want, how to get there, and to enjoy the journey while I'm at it. 

It honestly doesn't matter how many pictures I post on here. I will be a different variation of the same person in each and every single one of them. Every day I change as a person: my perspective, my drive, my ambitions, hopes and dreams are changing just as rapidly as the weather in Ohio does. 

A lot of friendships end because we anchor one another to our past actions. Which isn't okay. We're living proof of our pasts, but that doesn't mean we want those decisions, moments and memories to forever define who we are and where we want to be or are heading. An addict who went to rehab will not want to be known forever as that person whose life depended upon whether or not they got that fix. They want to be remembered for each moment they made someone laugh, for each second they made someone smile, for each day they inspired someone to be a better person. And let's be honest, don't we all want that? 

There are experiences in my life that I will never share with friends, that I won't have to look into my future husband's eyes and tell him of the shame or guilt. But there are also moments that my friends won't have to tell their future boyfriends or girlfriends, because they never lived through those same times. I've had friends who said they'd never do drugs, who, eventually, did drugs and still do. Friends who swore they would never drink or use tobacco products. Friends who were terrified of tattoos and piercings or saw people who were decorated with ink and metal and thought of how disgusting those people are. But those friends went and smoked, chewed, drank, got tattooed and pierced. And that's okay because those decisions lie solely on their shoulders and not mine. And those experiences will change how they see things. 

And while I'll never share those experiences or understand how their perspectives have changed, I have undergone things that they'll never get. My closest friends have never gone through a depression or sank so far into themselves that they felt trapped and lost and worthless. My closest high school friends don't know what it's like to be a part of a co-ed fraternity or be in a sorority. They have no idea what it's like to be surrounded by the most amazing, loud, Italian family like mine. They don't know what it's like to struggle with the things I've struggled, but they also don't know what it's like to get out of those same struggles and see just how beautiful your life is. 

Yeah, I've changed. And yeah, my friends have changed. I've watched my brothers and sisters change and my parents change. But never complain about it. It's like that saying, "Be kind for everyone you meet is facing their own battles." Don't judge someone for the actions or for having a new perspective because you don't know just what they've gone through in their life. There's a reason why they hate the color blue  or are terrified of goats. There's a reason they decided to get alchemy symbols tattooed onto their forearm. And believe it or not, there's a reason for everything and every decision someone decides upon doing. So, let them have those moments. You may not agree with them, but they probably don't agree on everything you decide to do. 

It's okay to change and to watch others change, as long as you embrace them for who they are as a person and for where they're going and help to promote self-awareness and self-confidence. As long as you help them to get from point A to point B in a positive and healthy manner. As long as you're promoting and not destroying, it's okay to change. It's the saddest truth I've ever had to accept, but it's also the most beautiful because once you learn to accept it, you begin to understand a lot more than you thought you would. 

Lesson #1: Life doesn't end after high school.

As stupid as it seemed, before I graduated high school May of 2012, I was terrified of what life after graduation would be like. Which is dumb because I knew that there was life and that it was completely capable of surviving or else humankind wouldn't be in existence. I remember every single time I went to the guidance counselor I was complaining about how after high school I was probably just dying because life afterwards was basically just a cover up by the Matrix and graduation is like taking the pill and there was no hope or will to live after the illusion shatters. Poor Mrs. Edwards... 

I mean, after all, why would I want to leave the comfort of high school? My entire life I was hearing people say how those four years would be the "best years" of my whole entire life. And what would I do without the friends that I had, who literally knew everything about my past? And I mean, like, leaving high school meant moving out of my parents' house and having to pay bills and falling in and out of love for real and getting a job and being an adult, right? Like, I had to enter the dog-eat-dog "real world" and be an adult. And let's be honest: who wants that? 

But, let's be honest about high school. It was full of really stupid, cliche and off-the-wall drama and insults that made the already "difficult" transition that much worse. The movies made people want to fill into what social norms for high schools should be and stereotypes ran rampant through the hallways while you were probably the kid who sat in the back of the class and hated every. single. one. of your classmates who were following the stupid paradoxical thought processes that plagued those classrooms. Sure, there were the few "good" friends you had, who, now that you think of it, don't talk to you anymore. But other than that, high school was like hell. There's the awkward and ugly phase pictures plastered all over every single social networking site that was in at the time and totally embarrassing stories of when you first got your period in seventh grade during gym class while wearing white shorts. Totally didn't happen to me, but we've all heard that story at least once, am I right? 

Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that high school is never what you think it was when you were in it. It will never be the best four years of your life. And, yeah, you might have some really cool friends now, but in ten years when you show up to your high school reunion, the conversations are going to be stale and written on note cards because you've "lost contact" when really you just grew apart and moved on and stopped caring about your small town drama.

Now that I've been in college for a solid year and a half, thinking about high school literally makes me want to cringe. In college, you don't have to worry about what your best friend is saying about you behind your back, who is dating whom after just breaking up with the starting quarterback or--DO I DARE SAY IT--what you're wearing to class. You don't have to think about the monotone lectures of your high school teachers about what the real world entails and you definitely don't have to deal with godawful cafeteria food. Plus, girls don't just stop walking in the middle of the hallway and make you late for class. The guys don't make tons of penis jokes (unless you're in the gaming community like I am; not even kidding, those guys don't get out much...) and sexual innuendos. Your pictures are classy and there's always fun stuff to do and your parents can't tell you what to do and when to do it. And egad, you're actually starting to learn how to finance your money and be in the real world without intentionally doing it. You'll finally have people with similar interests to yours and lots of different viewpoints and broad horizons to meet and conversate with. Finally, no one knows your past so they can't judge you for your extremely stupid decisions in the past. 

Moments like this were great in high school, but I barely talk to two of these

people anymore, and the other one is my sister, so I'm stuck with her. I would

Never trade in a moment like this one, but I'm not going to let it anchor me in

place. There is life after high school and high school memories.

I'm getting really off topic here. Basically, the entire lesson is that high school will never define your life. It will literally not matter whether or not you wore Hollister every single day to class or not, if you went through a bad phase in high school where you were depressed or if you bullied someone. In college, high school will never define you unless you refuse to let it go. And in fact, college will never define who you are in the "real world". Your life is a growing experience and you're going to change throughout it. And that's super awesome. Just don't let it stress you out like it stressed me in high school. Don't think that the "real world" is a strict set of rules and you have to sign a waver because *SPOILER ALERT* nobody knows what they're doing, either. 

John Mayer basically sums this up the most: "There's no such thing as the real world. It's just a lie you have to rise above." 

Enjoy your high school experience, but please don't let it anchor you into your fears and just live your life how you want to. 

  

The beginning of the next two and a half years.

So, at my university, we have these senior speeches and projects to be completed by the end of your last year called SCE. I'm not entirely sure what those exactly stand for, but its main purpose is to show off the oral communication and writing skills you grow as you make your college journey. Each major has a different requirement for their SCE, and whether or not these projects have to be a paper or some other medium and what the project should be based on.

Recently, my very talented friend, Nick Mock, wrote a creative nonfiction piece that he's planning on getting published about being a musician in college. Which, inspired me with my SCE's topic (even though I still have two and a half years left to begin).

I've decided that my SCE is going to be about the lessons that I learn while growing up and I can do in hopes of helping others cope with the stress of not only physically aging, but getting acquainted with the idea that growing up not only sucks but is inevitable, so you might as well enjoy the little things.

This blog will be full of lessons that I learn within the next few years; hope you enjoy this crazy ride called LIFE as much as I do.